Family Matters - Latest Comments

Re: 60 Tips for a Happy Marriage

Loveake9 — Sun, 13 May 2012 16:04:42 -0000

Ok i need really good and usefull ideas im getting really tired of being alone in my marriage. Me and my husband met under the influence of passion and excitement. After 9 yrs of troubled marriage with fighting and a 5 yr old child and a cheat on my behalf its dead . We have no communication,love,sex life,understanding ,trust,mutual decisions,friendship,intimacy,quality time,appreciation,activities, sharing with eachother. If i put the logic in all i wrote i should divorce by now but the hard thing is i love this guy i wanna make it work he is just too ignoarant and things are making me depressed i try my best to keep him happy in all ways but hey im only human and i need a hug from time to time and someone to talk to besides who will take the kid from school!! Please help

Re: 60 Tips for a Happy Marriage

Preetaadvik — Sun, 13 May 2012 00:49:32 -0000

hi ronit I ve seen ur site today,its gr8 v hv been married since 7 yrs v luv each other very much bt my husband stop discussing ny matter vth me nd stop expressing luv also, he had so many mood swings dat I m just stuck to figure out wats d matter nd reason I m just going mad day by day bt wen he is cool he start behaving as nothing ever happend I m always in confuse state wats nd y its going on help me pls

Re: Mirror Mirror on the Wall

ronitbaras — Thu, 10 May 2012 09:22:39 -0000

Sandra,

I can see you love mirrors as well.

Thanks

Ronit

Re: Bullying (7): Other Bullying Players

ronitbaras — Thu, 10 May 2012 09:19:38 -0000

Lgregory2,

You need to be very confident to be the defender.
People that can do that usually have high emotional intelligence.
It is as if they know how people think and can ease the pressure in a conflict.
Oh, I wish diplomats were really as good at it...
Your way of thinking is inspiring!
I so wish we had more people like you to inspire such mindset.
Bullying is an act of the weak and when we strengthen families, it will change.
We need more people like you around to change societies.

You are inspiring.
It is so simple and yet so powerful.
Thanks for sharing,

Ronit

Re: Parenting for Happiness

ronitbaras — Thu, 10 May 2012 09:12:32 -0000

Kristie,

Share with us how it went.

Re: The Right Age for a Sleepover

ronitbaras — Thu, 10 May 2012 09:11:08 -0000

I think Purple girl 206 is right!
If kids have the option to go back home, they will ask to go home.

Re: The Right Age for a Sleepover

ronitbaras — Thu, 10 May 2012 09:09:55 -0000

Dimond,

How old are you?

Re: The Right Age for a Sleepover

ronitbaras — Thu, 10 May 2012 09:09:40 -0000

Guest,

If I were you. I would say No as well.
Giving kids an opportunity to experience sleep over cannot be done at all cost.
With such children, I avoid even play time.
Trusting your gut instincts is listening to your own GPS and having a safe drive.
Just to make sure you son don't think he has a problem, you can arrange a sleep over with a kid that is good for him to associate with.

Re: The Right Age for a Sleepover

guest — Tue, 08 May 2012 03:51:23 -0000

my son just turned 6 last week and was invited to spend the night with a child in his class. I am not against sleepovers, but I am against a sleepover with this child. He is the "troublemaker" of the class and he and my son almost had a fist fight on the playground last week. His mom is also sometimes in charge of the aftercare at school and the kids are always "crazy" when I come to pick my son up when she is there. (not that way when other parents are in charge) I also do not know the parents that well except for a few short conversations at school or on field trips that we both attended. I think that I and any other parent in this situation have a substantiated reason NOT to let their child spend the night. It has nothing to do with something that has happened in MY past. It is what is happening with my son and this child in the present. It is certainly a fear though. Fear that they get in a huge fight before the sleepover is complete. I don't want a phone call at 2 a.m. saying that my son has a bloody nose or a black eye.

On another note, my son does have a great friend who we have done several play dates with and my husband and I have developed a wonderful relationship with his parents. It has never come up, but I would certainly feel comfortable letting my son spend the night with him.

Re: The Right Age for a Sleepover

Dimond — Mon, 07 May 2012 16:35:40 -0000

i never get to go to a sleepover

Re: Parenting for Happiness

Kristie — Thu, 03 May 2012 00:36:51 -0000

Thank you for your article! This will be so helpful to do with my boys.

Re: Bullying (7): Other Bullying Players

Lgregory2 — Wed, 02 May 2012 22:44:51 -0000

I am defender...in all my schooling years.I have not had to endure any kind of bullying (at least I sincerely do not recall ever being bullied) I was a plump little girl who just couldn't see anyone be hurt or get hurt I attended at least 9 schools (Dad was always looking for his pot of gold job) but we were a very close knit family. But no matter how old I was or where I was it was I was always the "defender" My Mom always said I would make a darn good diplomat cause I was able to defuse a few knock'em down fights on school property or wherever kids might squabble etc. I just had a big heart and could not handle meaness in any form. It was suggested I get into something pertaining to children/teens and even adults concerning bullying counselling. Instead I quit school and went into Mother's Helper/daycare service. Once my abilities were found out it did not take long for the daycare service I worked for to place unruly kids in my care, but they didn't stay unruly for long and became kids parents were glad to pick up after work and take home. My approach, we are all unique(different in some way) however no one is better then next person and no one will be treated any differently(no favoritism) then the next and that was what could be said was my way diplomatic way of thinking and dealing with life's ups and downs concerning bullied kids. I am seriously thinking of finishing my schooling and perhaps looking into that area as a career choice. I am 60 yrs old and still haven't changed in my way of thinking concerning "bullying" it has to be stopped on all levels beginning with home and school and even daycare wherever kids gather.

Re: Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Sandra Dodd — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 09:48:44 -0000

I came here from Bob Collier's links, and I love this!! I'm going to link it from this page: http://sandradodd.com/mirrors.... Most of those in the lower right are of my family, and the "not reflection" of my daughter and the computer image (her photoshop on the overall).

Re: Troubled Teens: Disturbing Thoughts

Ilo Edd — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 04:11:00 -0000

Great article. Teens need a point of convergence with their mind,body and soul. A teen by definition is the most confused creature on the face of the world.

Re: How to Cure a Forgetful Kid

zenny — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 11:36:58 -0000

how do i teach my kids values and what is acceptable behavior and what is expected of him. He just does not listen and constantly gets himself in serious trouble in school and home.

Re: How to Cure a Forgetful Kid

zenny — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 11:26:48 -0000

I agree with this. If there is no punishment, the kids will never learn right from wrong. When I went to school, there was a great consequence for not doing hw from the teachers and I always trained my brain to remember because if not then I only was responsible for what the teachers would do to me.

Re: How to Cure a Forgetful Kid

zenny — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 11:20:44 -0000

I am on the same boat as you. My son does exactly what you have described. I am also very frustrated with this whole situation and teachers keep labeling him with add issues. He is only in 7th grade now and I can't imagine how he will handle high school or college. I am a terrified parent and am also despertely looking for help.

Re: Bullying (23): Bully parents

Artee — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 03:29:38 -0000

My mother is a parent bully and she terrorizes me father and I am starting to realize the unfortunate consequences on my mental health. I am very tired of it all. The empty shell I have become is a result of my parents being the aggressive bully. I don`t know how to cope with stress, it`s true. I actually am having an anxiety breakdown and it`s my last year of university. My mother always compares me to my "useless father" who apparently is lesser than a human being. My father on the other hand was able to bully me until I reached adult age and I fought back. Now I have my mother to deal with. She grew up with a lot of emotional turmoil but that doesn't justify her cruel emotional and financial abuse. I need to move out. I pray to god that I never have children or become a mother. I never want to become the disgusting person my mother is. I am a passive person when it comes to bullying, I just take it and don't do anything. I am tired of this and I am starting to see a counsellor, I need to reach out to someone or I fear for my own mental health and I don't want to inflict any more damage to my self esteem. Sorry mom, some people are born soft, with emotions, and can cry. Apparently emotions are weak things to have because she's so high and lofty and better than everyone else. One thing I've learned is blood is NOT thicker than water. I am leaving this place as soon as I can. God help us all in a world where your own parents are your worst enemy.

Re: Troubled Teens: Confusing Years

Bob Collier — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 10:09:35 -0000

Quote: ""I have realized that I go to school because my parents want me to go there to prepare me for life. But it is not preparing me for life. Who needs to know the square root of a number by heart? Who needs to find an angle in a triangle? School is a prison and my parents just send me to prison ever day. I can't trust them to make decisions that are good for me."
What parents can doIt is very important throughout your kids' school life not to repeat this mantra to children and to be honest about the reasons they go to school. Kids go to school because parents cannot teach them by themselves or do not want to do it."I recall that, when I was at high school in London, England, in the 1960s, one of my teachers, in response to a question of why we had to learn whatever it was in particular, said to our class one day (if not word for word something very much like), "Everybody knows you will only use about five per cent of what you learn in school in your adult life. But what nobody knows is which five per cent. So we have to teach it all."That was understood in the 1960s but it's no longer true and hasn't been for some time. We don't live in a 'just in case' world any more. We live in a world where an entire universe of information, knowledge and understanding way, way beyond the capacity of a K-12 curriculum is freely available at a moment's notice to anybody with access to the world wide web - and indeed that access can be had through a device you hold in your hand while sitting on the deck of your home having a nice cup of tea. We live in a world where anybody who chooses to do so can educate themselves not only wherever they are, but also by whatever methods suit them and at whatever times of the day (or night) suit them, and we can decide for ourselves from our own life experience what's likely to be of most value to our children in their adult lives rather than relying on the vested interests and biased judgements of strangers who don't even know who our children are; and I'm sure you've heard as often as I have the complaints from adults about what they needed that schools didn't teach, and never will teach. The idea that parents who do want to educate their children outside the school system cannot teach their children by themselves is a red herring. The teaching abilities of the parent are irrelevant, since today's interactive web provides ample opportunity to delegate the work to the best teachers on the planet (Salman Khan comes immediately to mind, for example).

Re: Good Old Human Spirit

Pritipan — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 07:33:10 -0000

Indeed you have brought up the message of brotherhood and unity through this post. Charlie Chaplin may be regarded as a funny man but he did have a great insight into things especially social causes. His movies always depicted social problems packed inside the comedy which he mastered in.

Re: Self Esteem Mini-Course (10): Beliefs of Assertive People

Siddhant Gurung — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 10:32:49 -0000

Thank you Mam Bcoz of you I have gained my lost confidence..................

Re: The Right Age for a Sleepover

Purplegirl206 — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 22:38:21 -0000

you should just let them try it, see how it works out, if it doesn't they can always ask to go home. i had my first sleepover when i was in Pre-K, the first time, i was scared and went home, the second time, a had no problem. As long as you have a responsible, nice family, with a parent that you know well, they'll be fine.

Re: Easy Divorce

AdoptiveLegacy — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 22:19:10 -0000

I've been happily married for 15 years. It's hard work but it's so important for the kids to know that we're not going anywhere! It seems like all of my kids friends come from broken homes.

Re: Troubled Teens

Liezlke — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 16:55:52 -0000

You took the words right out of my mouth. I have a similar daughter to yours. Use to be lovely but changed... She reminds me often that there's really nothing I can do. Taking her phone or Internet away as no effect. She has been taught by teachers that she has all these rights. In her mind it means the right to do as she pleases with no regard or respect to the people around her. She has even told a police man that if he touches her he will be in so much trouble! We have given all the power to the youth and then we wonder why they are so out of control. We as parents need to take charge again!

Re: Troubled Teens

Angelaatcronulla — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 18:15:04 -0000

My 13 year old son is becoming abusive & defiant. I NEED HELP